There is an intuitive belief that a mentor can be helpful in the search for the right career or even a job. We all believe that an unbiased observer can provide meaningful constructive criticism as well as experienced guidance in avoiding the pitfalls so many job seekers make. In addition, for people who are just starting out, recent graduates for example, or those seeking a career change, an experienced advisor who understands the "real world" within a profession, industry or organization, can be invaluable.

All too often mentoring relationships fail miserably, sometimes generating ill will, or most often simply leading nowhere, degenerating into simply another pair of ears to hear your gripes. Yet, when done properly, a mentor can be invaluable, providing guidance, wisdom and support as your job search or career search progresses. The good news is there are many business, professional and social organizations, and companies that can help. Either they have specific formal mentoring programs or members or employees are willing and able to serve as mentors and provide good advice and counsel about their specific business, industry or organization.

So, when seeking a mentor, what are the considerations that can make or break a mentoring relationship? As the mentee, you want and expect benefits from the relationship. The mentor also has expectations. Consequently, good planning before you start the search for a mentor is critical. The goal should be to find a mentor whose personality, self awareness and expectations appropriately mirror yours. So why is this important?

First and foremost you must be very clear about your expectations. You must ask yourself: What is the purpose of the mentoring relationship? What do I want to accomplish? And, how will I know that I have achieved my goals? The more specific you can be in addressing these questions, the better your chances for creating a good working mentor relationship. This is important because when you find mentor candidates, your expectations and the mentors willingness and ability to fulfill those expectations must be consistent. Even in a relationship where the mentor is simply a sounding board, that should be agreed upon beforehand, or neither party will be satisfied. So if you are considering a more complex relationship where significant time or other commitment has to be made by both parties, up front agreement and clear understanding of goals and obligations is crucial.

It is obvious that mentoring for a recent graduate is vastly different from someone who has years of experience in one field but is seeking a career change. The mentees in this example differ in self-esteem, work and life experience, and maturity. At the same time cultural differences can require different approaches. In a community as diverse as ours, it would be a big mistake to ignore these differences and simply assume that one mentoring style fits all.

Another concern relates to the impact on others not directly part of the relationship. For example, if you and the mentor are working or have other obligations, have you thought about time away from the job? If frequent meetings require time away from the job, the mentor must be sure any managers understand and agree. Failure to include a mentors' manager or not taking the time to sell the benefits of a mentoring relationship is a frequent omission. Mentors frequently assume that their managers will simply "buy in" to this worthwhile endeavor. Even worse, some people prefer to keep this confidential, and assume senior managers might disapprove. Involving colleagues and supervisors in the mentoring activities and getting approval is important. As a result you must be sure your mentor has taken the time to inform those impacted.

It cannot be overemphasized that you must take the time to think through your goals and objectives of any mentoring program. These goals and objectives should be thoroughly understood by the potential mentor. In addition, when mentoring has the potential to impact the mentors work, they should be strongly encouraged to engage anyone who might be effected by time off, office mentoring time or any other consideration effecting the mentors and your work.

Not everyone makes a good mentor. Professionals generally assume that any manager has the qualities to perform mentoring responsibilities. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Some managers think they have all the answers. Others lack the sensitivity and understanding that is crucial to a good mentoring relationship. Don't assume that you are ahead of the game if someone you respect agrees to be a mentor. Seek alternatives. Ask probing questions. Make sure the prospective mentor understands the two-way relationship that must be nurtured to create a successful mentoring process. There are some statistics that suggest most mentor relationships don't work very well. Consequently, preparation can pay big dividends.

Finding the right job or career is becoming more and more complex. There are a host of activities, lots of preparation, training and creativity that goes into the job search process. Some of these activities cost only your dedication, commitment and hard work. Finding the right mentor can be invaluable as you begin to ask the hard questions about your future. A good mentor is an advisor, a supporter, a cheerleader, and even a friend who provides the kind of encouragement that can give you the courage and inspiration to follow your passion.